thefremen:

the-r-evolution:

A good article on men who purport to be feminists and allies. Progressive dudes, take note- we need you to actually live up to your principles, not just espouse them.

An excerpt:

He will not hold other self-proclaimed male-identified feminists accountable.

Of course, this only applies to relatively safe spaces. A feminist man shouldn’t have to risk life and limb to tell another dude that his rape joke wasn’t funny, but if all he’s got to risk is his pride or social status then he needs to go for it. If his bros are giggling and cat-calling a woman and he’s just standing there – he’s not ready for the label yet. General shyness may be a mitigating factor, but it is extremely important that feminist men speak out against sexism whenever they possibly can. Any commitment he’s made to ending sexism must hold up to being called a “mangina”. If a man cannot be expected to do this much while women are enduring sexual assault, violence, and verbal abuse for standing up for their rights, the mantle of feminism has been proven to be too much to bear for him and he is undeserving of the title.

Sadly, it’s rather common for otherwise “liberal” men to still display sexist attitudes and behaviors. And I personally find it even more heartbreaking when my supposed allies turn out to harbor such sexism than when I witness it from MRAs and other dude-types that I expect it from. I’ve also found it difficult to confront these men, due to the idea that they are “one of the good ones”.

So “good guys” out there, please check out this article and examine your own actions to make sure your words and deeds really align with your ideals.

He interrupts women that he speaks with.

This is all great stuff for me to remember and to share with other dudes, this one especially annoyed me recently. A dude would interrupt, say something off-topic, and while doing so, fill in the blanks with “um” and “uh” because he obviously hadn’t thought about what he was about to say before he said it. 

The leadership role thing reminds me of a few weeks back when I was the only one who had attended the last 2 meetings and an agenda was being decided and suddenly everyone was looking to me to say what happened and assist in deciding an agenda. VERY uncomfortable.

Personally, I enjoy taking minutes. I take extremely detailed notes so that automatically keeps me from dominating conversations.